my little bug

i caught a green and red metallic bug last night
reminds me of brian. cos it is always clinging on to the leaf i put in like brain does he pillow.

everyone had already left and the rest were all playing their psp or gameboy.
and i was bored.

+)

its amazing how close you can get to people you never knew your whole life in just 5 days.
its really like meeting your long lost twin.
i really got along well with all of them. and i could easily be myself around them eve right after i met them.


i am surely gonna miss them.
popo's death may be a tragic thing to this family but in a weird and good way, it brought all of us together.
papa was mentioning the car today that this was the first time everyone came back to tumpat at the same time.
if it wasnt for this, i would not have known (well i already did) about brian and julian
and i wouldnt never have met gary, charlene, su han and su chong and my other uncles and aunties.
also for the rest of the people who have never met each other.

the first day there i felt like a stranger.
i felt like people were judging me like the was the "other womans" child.
but then i found out i wasnt the only one who knew nothing about them.
it turns out there were other family members who havent met the others also.

it wasnt the kampung life i was looking forward to
only it was much better.
my life, will never be the same.

turns out mother knew about the whole thing this whole time.
she said it was between the adults and was up to papa whether to tell us or not.
but she was right. the past is the past.
forgive and move on.

another good thing came out from all this too.
now there isnt a question left unanswered in my complicated dramatic life anymore.
all secrets are out and we are all okay.

i am living my life like nothing has change.
i am still me.
but with two little brothers.

now i am just waiting to officially meet julian in person. XD